N.O. Sleep - The Rookie-Sophomore Game

Interesting. When I look at the rosters for this game, basically, there aren’t any centers on either team. Yes, Al Horford is listed as one, and yes, Andrea Bargnani is listed as one, but we all know they aren’t “real” centers. Then again, in the NBA as we know it now, there are very few “real” centers. But hey, who cares about positions, I’m about to watch NBA Jam, I mean, the Rookie Challenge, so as long as everybody is runnin’ like The Pharcyde, it’s all good. It’s 3 am, my fellow countrymen are all sleeping (all 16 million of them), and I just ate a banana and drank a can of Red Bull. I feel good, I feel awake, maybe I’ll open a second can, but other than that, I’m good to go. Hope the young guns feel the same (note: don’t use the term “young guns ever again”, I’m not a senior citizen yet). Right, enough about me, let’s go to N.O.

1ST HALF:

-Well, the only thing that could ruin the game for me, is that the commentary is Dutch. Damn it. Usually the commentary during live games (since it’s aired at night) is just whoever is broadcasting it.

-Al Horford is the MC of the Rookie squad, and seems to be enjoying it. Rudy Gay handles the mic for the Sophs, with both of them announcing their teammates.

-Kevin Durant looks like Tracy Morgan. I hope he’s funnier than Tracy, though.

-I’m 28, and I look like Bob Pettit. Wonder what I look like when I’m his age. Well, I’m getting bald already, so it couldn’t get much worse, could it?

-The Dutch announcing team could’ve been worse. At least one of the guys is the most respected coach in the Dutch sports world. And yes, he’s a basketball coach. Knowledgeable, talking in a very dry tone. His partner, the play-by-play is okay too. I’m glad the usual moron isn’t there.

-First record of the night? 18.000 people showing up for a game.

-Starters Sophs: Rondo, Gay, Roy Aldridge and Bargs.

-Starters Rookies: Scola, Green, Conley, Durant, Horford

-Bargs starts with a dunk, next possession it’s Rudy with the oop.

-I know I mentioned bananas earlier, and I think Durant is running on bananas, Man his shoes are ugly. And yellow. Watching the game with sunglasses here.

-Part of the crowd (mostly kids) is wearing pink. It does not look good. I’m thinking of cancelling my T-Mobile subscription.

-Bananas or not, Durant gets up! This kid is bananas (yet, even someone slipping on a banana peel would seem funnier than my lines here).

-Time-out! The game is tied at 15, Durant is leading the Rooks with 7, and Roy has 7 too. Early feeling? One of them will be the Player of the Game.

-Old news, but the logo on Rondo’s huge white headband is always upside-down. The rebel.

-Roy threw the ball a bit too high, yet Gay still managed to dunk it. Can’t wait for tomorrow.

-I don’t like the Hawks. Never did. But Al Horford will be a star for this team within a few years. He lets it be know he’s in this game for a reason, putback dunks, grabbing boards, everything.

-I felt the ground shake a little. Weird. Oh wait, Yi is in the game, China moved.

-Sean Williams and Jamario Moon alert. Blocks ‘n’ Jams will arrive soon.

-But Sean just hit a turnaround J to score his first basket. Pffff, thinks he’s KG already.

-Time-out! Sophomores lead by two, 28-26. Roy and Gay both have 11, so has Horford.

-Moon with the one-hander. My guess tomorrow will be better.

-Sean Williams with the dunk of the game so far. Threw it against the backboard, caught it in the air with his left hand, and dunked it with that same hand (he’s right-handed). Where did he learn to pass like that? Kidd maybe? Who knows, after all, Mr. Triple-double is as of today still a Net.

-Daniel Gibson proves once again he can really shoot 3’s. 15 points already, if he keeps shooting like this, Saturday night will be interesting in the Shootout competition.

-Williams scores again. 12 quick points (6 out of 6).

-I might sound like Dave Chappelle in Block Party, but you gotta respect a dude named Millsap.

-Yi gets fouled under the basket. Is it just me, or does the sound of the whistle actually sounds like his name?

-Jordan with the fade away jumper! Farmar, that is.

-It’s official: Gibson can’t miss (well, it seems like it). 6 out of 9 from threepoint territory.

-Gibson again! Seven 3’s!

-Message to Joe Johnson, Josh Smith and whoever handles the ball the most in Atlanta: Pass Horford the rock more often.

-Kevin Durant scored the final basket of the first half on an alley-oop

END OF 1ST HALF, Sophomores 66, Rookies 52.

-The man in purple we call Craig Sager is interviewing Gibson, who leads all scorers with 21 points, all on 3’s. LeBron jumps into him and tells Sags that this is only the beginning, pumping up the the guy for the 3-point contest tomorrow.

-The Dutch commentary is awfully bland. I swear I could do this better. Although that might sound childish, I know I could. These guys aren’t used to being up this late, give those guys some coffee, Red Bull, LSD, something.

-Jordin Sparks at halftime. As a non-American, I do not know this young woman. She won American Idol? Okay.

-I hate the Orlando Magic mascot. For some reason I feel the urge to punch that dragon, yet I’m not a violent person at all.

-To me, Jordin isn’t really providing any Sparks (pun intended). The girl can’t help it, she probably can sing really good, but this is the most boring song I’ve heard in quite a while.

-I’m craving for a snack of some kind, no luck. I don’t want another banana. I knew I should’ve bought some potato chips. Damn it.

2ND HALF:

-The Dutch announcers are wondering how Oden is doing, and if he’ll play next season, or if he’ll ever play again. They both don’t know, and one of them says “Not sure, have to look that up.” That angers me. They could’ve called me. If they knew who I was. And had my number.

-I was about to type that both teams actually are playing a little defense, before I realize that is not a very insightful comment, and a flat out lie.

-How is it possible that the Rebel Rondo fake-behind-the-back-pass works every single time? He seems to do it every game, and also in this one. It looks cool though. If it ain’t broke….

-It’s almost the rookies want Durant to win the game for them. Or maybe he’s just always at the right spot to receive the pass.

-Bargs has been playing quite well recently for the Raptors after a very slow start earlier this season. Haven’t seen him playing for a while, but he seems healthy, running and jumping, being very active.

-To all the doubters out there: quit hating on Rebel Rondo. Grabs a steal, crisp passes, he’s not afraid. The KG effect helps every player (KG is sitting behind the bench, by the way, rooting for the young point guard).

-Chris Bosh and girlfriend are watching too. Her forehead is so high, David Harrison wants to smoke it.

-Gibson keeps on shooting. Now 8 for 14, all on 3’s.

-Time-out! Sophomores lead 102-84. MVP so far? I say Rudy Gay, but if Gibson keeps on shooting like that, he could win it too. I don’t really care.

-Message to the Nets: Please don’t trade Sean Williams. Thank you.

-Another time-out. This time I realize that I can’t dance. Those dudes at midcourt can. And the girls too. *pops collar*…. *blows out knee while popping collar*

-Navarro really, really, really likes to shoot. Regardless if he hits anything or not. Guns of Navarro anyone? Too far-fetched?

-Karl Malone is in the building, talking to the man in purple. Scientific fact: the Mailman doesn’t age.

-Holy crap, Gibson hit another one. 11 3’s ladies and gentlemen. Probably his final one too.

-The Dutch announcers say that this is the first time they ever heard Malone talking. His voice, or dialect, doesn’t fit him, they conclude. Next up: I’m jumping from my balcony.

-So I climbed back up, just in time to see Moon with a vicious one-hander. Oh man.

-Moon passes to Yi, who misses the dunk. China sighed.

-Some more Moon dunks, and not long after that it’s all over.

END OF GAME, Sophomores 136, Rookies 109

MVP of the Game: obviously Daniel Gibson. 11 3’s in only 20 attempts, that’s some serious shooting right there. Well, it’s 5 am over here. I’m going to try and hopefully find a working stream of Inside the NBA, and if not, off to bed it is.